Who pays these days?

An interesting question that is highly debated in different circles I travel in these days, is the "who pays for dinner?" dilemma. I've heard everything from "the guy always always pays" to the somewhat offensive "I would never spend money on a girl when I could be investing it somewhere more valuable".

Here are the rules according to me:

1. Who picked the restaurant?

A great alternative to "who did the asking". If you're tasked with picking the place to eat, it's generally assumed that you're going to choose a place that you can actually afford, in the event that it's your credit card that's being slapped down on the bill. Don't ever, ever pick a place and assume that the other person will be picking up the tab. I once heard a horrible story about a girl picking a really expensive restaurant for a first date and stating "I'm so glad that we're going to a really nice restaurant and you're paying". The date was over before it started.

2. Who makes more money?

A bit of a tricky one. Unless you know for a fact that there is a wide and disparate salary gap, don't rely on this one. I've had no problem in the past getting dinner when I knew that it would make a much smaller dent in my bank balance.

3. Who paid last time?

A great rule to follow, keeps things pretty equal.

4. Are you in Los Angeles?

He pays.


Of course, the polite thing to keep in mind is to always, always at least offer. If the outcome of the "no, really, I can get this" back and forth is different than what you were expecting, just smile, sign the receipt, and take it as an expensive lesson to not date this loser again.